VOLUME 17, ISSUE 2 – FEBRUARY 2018
THIS MONTH’S MENU:
I. APPETIZER: “THE CURSE OF KNOWLEDGE” IN ACTION
Yours Truly Goes Round and Round with Clueless Online Auction Outfit
II. “FIELD” GREENS: NEED FRESH TWISTS ON OLD PRODUCT DESCRIPTIONS?
Marketing Pro Showcases a Tasty, Shopping Cart Full of Creative Tactics!
III. MAIN “MEAT” COURSE: WHERE DO YOUR SENTENCES SING? (Part 1 of 2)
CA FLCW Shares His “Write” Space and Challenges Us to Do the Same
IV. DESSERT: SWEET SUCCESS STORIES & TIPS
NJ FLCW Lets His “Second-Office” Staff Know What He Does, Lands Gig!
TIP:Copyblogger Post: “10 Ways to Write Damn Good Copy”
I. APPETIZER: “THE CURSE OF KNOWLEDGE” IN ACTION
Yours Truly Goes Round and Round with Clueless Online Auction Outfit
So, I just moved into a new home, was in the market for a number of furnishings, and came across a pretty cool site called “Everything But the House”—an online auction company. You bid on items (often at crazy-low prices) at sales in your area, and if you win, you can then go pick them up at a specified date/time.
I was looking at a sale listed in Marietta, GA, right next door, but every item I clicked on had “Wheeling, WV” noted as the item’s location. Clearly an error, so I emailed them. Their excerpted response (bad grammar and all):
The seller of the sale had items in both locations, so some items may show different pick up in the sale. Be sure to check the location on each item you are interested in!
MY excerpted reply:
How would we know that? When every item clicked says Wheeling, WV, in a sale listed in Marietta, GA, it just looks like an error. And once I conclude that, I stop looking at the sale, which doesn’t do your seller any favors. And I suspect your site visitors in Wheeling would be surprised to learn there was a local sale, but cleverly camouflaged under a Marietta, GA listing. Which ALSO doesn’t help your seller much.
To which she replied (sadly, verbatim):
We have many sales that offer different locations for pick up now, as we do most of the packaging and shipping within EBTH now though. Most sales are now listed under the one city that the seller originated in, as we do not have a location in West Virginia, it was list under the city that we do operate in. Ensuring the bidders are still looking at the location on each item and not assuming they are all available for pick up at all or even locally, as we have made changes to a lot of sales recently that do not even offer pick up any longer.
Get all that? Yeah, me neither. To which I replied, trying (and failing) to be nice:
You know all this, but as bidders, we know NONE of it. Also, sorry, but the paragraph you just wrote below is largely incomprehensible. I read it three times and was still scratching my head. If I were the seller, I’d be seriously unhappy. Look at some of the items—beautiful stuff with $6 bids, and with less than one day left. Clearly, people in Marietta and Wheeling aren’t bidding because they either think the sale was incorrectly listed, or don’t know there’s even a sale locally. Your goal IS to make money, no?
I’ll spare you her “that’s-our-story-and-we’re-stickin’-to-it” reply. Examples of The Curse of Knowledge (AND awful writing) are legion in business communications: Arcane internal procedures just assumed to be understood by visitors, though with ZERO reason to make such assumptions. Folks like us—with invaluable “outsider eyes”—are SO needed. The good news in this case? Until they get a clue, bargains abound!
II. “FIELD” GREENS: NEED FRESH TWISTS ON OLD PRODUCT DESCRIPTIONS?
Marketing Pro Showcases a Tasty, Shopping Cart Full of Creative Tactics!
Marketing pro Marcia Yudkin shared this fun and exceptionally useful
piece (from her 12/20/17 Marketing Minute).
When it’s time to promote some same-old-same-old item, you need a fresh angle. Something unexpected and entertaining—an attention-getting prelude or reference to a quirky need.
In Trader Joe’s holiday flyer, promo after promo introduces mundane items with creativity and wit. I recommend these techniques no matter what you sell:
Recount a trend: “In the blink of an eye, cauliflower has gone from a popular brassica to the ‘it’ veggie. We’ve put it in stir fry and macaroni and cheese; we’ve riced it and mashed it; we’ve even turned it into pizza crust. And now, we’ve dipified it.”
Present a pun: “We try not to sell any products that are crummy, but crumby? Now, that’s another story. Our Cinnamon Streusel Coffee Cake is totally crumby.”
Describe a detail: “As the dough passes through, bronze dies leave tiny but significant abrasions on its surface, making Winter Snowflake Pasta more porous and rough – and therefore great at absorbing your favorite sauces.”
Blare an emotional drumroll: “We’re fans of bacon-inclusive dishes, and we’ve experienced first-hand the joy that spontaneously erupts when bacon is on the menu, whether it’s for breakfast, lunch or dinner. When that menu also includes scallops, the joy is nearly beyond containment.”
Elaborate on the need: “For those looking to avoid dairy but still wanting to partake in wintertime tradition, Trader Joe’s Almond Nog fits the bill. It’s made without corn syrup. Or soy. Or gluten. Did we mention it’s kosher-certified? And vegan, too?”
Offer a history lesson: “Black Pepper Pecorino, also known as Pecorino pepato, has been made in Sicily for over 2,000 years. Trader Joe’s Black Pepper Pecorino was not made that long ago, but it WAS made using age-old production methods.”
Invent a platitude: “A truth: without the right crackers, all is lost. What is a cheese plate without something to accompany the cheese? What is a bowl of dip without something to dip into the dip?”
For dozens of useful and creative tips on creating product descriptions that rock, Check out Marcia’s Special Report: “73 Ways to Describe a Widget.”
III. MAIN “MEAT” COURSE: WHERE DO YOUR SENTENCES SING? (Part 1 of 2)
CA FLCW Shares His “Write” Space and Challenges Us to Do the Same
Got this cool and quirky two-part contribution from Watsonville, CA FLCW Tom Bentley. WHERE we physically write absolutely drives our results. In Part 1 here, Tom shares his funky digs while getting us to ponder something we may not have (but should). In Part Two next month, he’ll turn the conversation in our direction. Great stuff – thanks, Tom!
Can your writing environment determine the quality of your output? The answer’s obvious, if say, you were trying to write romantic sonnets, while two feet from your hair-raised head, a teeth-bared pit bull strained against a cracking leash.
A bit extreme, sure. But might you write halfway better if half of the pit bull’s teeth were removed? How would a purring kitten in the room affect your writing?
I write in an unusual environment: a 1966 Airstream Globetrotter, parked behind my garage. I like to say I write attacked by plaid, because one of the variant glories of 1966 upholstery is plaid; in my trailer’s case, orange is the predominant color.
Lucky that I live in a semi-rural environment, so I can look away from the upholstery out of the trailer’s many windows, where I see mostly fields, right now filled with low grasses and the occasional wild turkey.
There’s something womb-like about old Airstreams—that congenial cocooning makes a fine environment for writing and for thinking about writing. There’s quiet, there’s comfort, there’s opportunity to focus and to tune out. There’s also a good broadband connection, a boon for freelancer connection, though at times a bane for productivity.
But some writers do well with an entirely different ambience. I know writers who love to go to active coffee shops for their scribblings, needing the murmurs of people and the spoosh of the espresso machine to percolate their thoughts. Other people make sure there ARE no windows in their writing room, so distraction can’t seep in.
I’m one of those people who never writes with music playing, or at least music with lyrics, because I’m lured by the words, and my writing thought train derails. But a writer I know has his headphones glued to his head, the beats popping with his typing.
Sometimes my cat comes out to the trailer to discuss subject-verb agreements, but most of the time, it’s just me.
I’ve been a staff writer at a few companies, and suffered the shackles of cubicle life, where you are cheered by the sounds of your neighbor’s digestion and their personal calls from debt collectors. I’ve worn earplugs at those jobs, but some of my other fellows at those places delighted in the social aspects of the office, the chance to trade jokes, gossip and lament the spiraling decline of society.
Freelancing isolation is a real thing, which is why some co-working spaces are busy hives, and why Twitter is rife with at-home writers asking opinions on the best nail-polish shade to go with their Apple watches.
We all want to connect—it’s healthy. Lucky for me (perhaps not so much for her), my freelance-writer girlfriend is in the house, just a minute away, so when I need an infusion of sociability, I go in and ask her about her favorite type of light bulb. Works for me.
I love to write travel pieces, but don’t like to write the actual sentence-by-sentence of an article while on the road. I’ll write notes and a few sentences in the hotel room, but I always wait to get back home to put together the full composition.
Of course, I do some of my writing in the house too, because that’s where the bourbon is. I return to my Airstream when I want a room of my own. Another plus of the outside office? Naps. 20–25 minutes of hazy glow make for a more focused afternoon.
Next month, we’ll talk about you and what works for your space—stay tuned!
Tom Bentley is a business copywriter and editor, fiction writer and editor, travel writer and essayist. He’s the author of Think Like a Writer: How to Write the Stories You See. His singing has been known to frighten the horses.
IV. DESSERT: SWEET SUCCESS STORIES & TIPS
NJ FLCW Lets His “Second-Office” Staff Know What He Does, Lands Gig!
Got this short, sweet success story—and useful reminder—from Bloomfield, NJ FLCW Steve Sears. Bottom line, you never know who around you might just be in the market for your services, so talk yourself up. Thanks, Steve! After that, a great collection of tips to seriously improve your marketing copy!
I often work from a bookstore. And I’ve made a point of letting everyone who works there know that I’m a freelance writer.
Well, a woman wrote a memoir and needed it proofread. She approached all the local schools but found no one who could help her. Since she’s a regular of that same bookstore, she asked the owner if he knew of anyone. He said, “Sure, there’s a guy in here all the time. He does that.”
Connection! We met the next week, I got the job (and a deposit) and got started, with a target completion date in early April.
Moral: ALWAYS let everyone know what you do, and that you’re for hire.